Running on empty – exercising the ADHDemons and finding balance.
Seven years ago, in my late 30s I had something of a life crisis - a sea change.
I’d just moved to a new country (Singapore), for a big new job and had a baby on the way. The perfect storm for an undiagnosed ADHD – extreme sleep deprivation, huge organizational challenge and professional goals to kick!
At the time I didn’t realize it, but I stumbled on a solution that made both survival and professional growth possible.
In early 2013 I tipped the scale at 92kg, I was playing soccer twice a week (usually standing in goal), enjoying a very social lifestyle that embraced my bad food habits (mainly KFC and pizza). I certainly wasn’t a paragon of virtuous eating, nor was my body a temple, but I thought I was absolutely fine.
Then came the upheaval. A move from Sydney to Singapore, a new role with weekly travel around the region and some crazy time-zone challenges – my calls with US colleagues could start at 5am and finish around 1am. And the biggest change – a baby on the way.
Physically Moving
In the past I might have focused on excessive socializing, or eating (or not eating) or obsessively binge watching forgettable TV shows, or writing 200 pages of a book before deleting it – but this time I started to run.
Well, I started to walk. And then jog, slowly. I jogged around the local park, that became a gentle run to work, and eventually I was managing a long run every other day. The sore knee I’d had since my early 20s disappeared, the running took less effort and gave more pleasure – and the dopamine hit was awesome!
Mindful Eating
I started to focus on food in a good way. I made conscious choices around ensuring I consumed enough calories to meet my new exercise needs. I logged the food into MyFitnessPal (not an advert - just the app I used). Sometimes my hyper focus found an outlet in ensuring I hit, but didn’t exceed, my daily calorie requirement. I checked my pedometer to ensure I hit my steps targets - I even started to walk during work calls to keep my body moving. But I was never going to achieve a perfect routine – there were still some days of letting loose!
Space to Think
The biggest benefit was the time to myself. Thinking the thoughts that I couldn’t in my rushed days at work, late night calls and foggy sleep-deprived time at home. It allowed me to find ways to solve the more difficult work issues, plan (a little) and regroup for the next working day, or next night time feed. The space this created, the time to just be with myself – that was incredible. I am usually so fixated on doing something, anything, and being with (talking to) someone else, I wasn’t’ used to time alone. Apparently even extreme extroverts with attention disorders need some introspection.
The Results
By 6 months:
Within 6 months I was running (not walking, not jogging) for 10km, weighing in at a healthy 79kg and had agreed a new ‘operational plan’ with my exec team to deliver the key business goals – and it was starting to deliver.
By 18 months:
I ran 14km every other day, had found a stable 76-78kg range (I did bottom out at 70.5kg but adjusted the calorie intake to bring me back to my healthy range). At work I had overachieved against my annual targets and picked up a couple of industry awards for our team’s endeavours. The big successes were at home - we survived 10 months of colicky daughter (just) and saw her health return.
It was by no means perfect – I had bad days, fell out of routine for a day-or-two. But overall I was seeing success. I had set up routines and support-structures to ensure the key aspects of my life were balanced.
And so arrived the end of 2014 – what happened next?
I received a call, that led to a meeting, that led to a trip, that led to a new, amazing job in Dubai! One of the best experiences of my professional life awaited…. But so too did another change. A new routine. One that brought poor eating, little or no exercise, weight gain and a disconnection from my family. I didn’t even notice the balance go - I’d come to take it granted.
7 years on I am back home in Sydney and am rediscovering the balance and setting up new routines. I am diagnosed ADHD and increasing my self-awareness – still early days – and am much more aware of the signs of the balance being disturbed.
Careers and work just are part of a whole-life. Looking after the work alone, particularly for those of us with ADHD, is not enough. Ensuring a routine that balances family time, work and career, exercise, nutrition, (meds) and self-development - whatever that looks like for you. Maintaining the balance is hard. Success comes when the routines support whole-life balance. Whole life balance supports success.